Burnout to Connection for Full Engagement

Are you burned out or disengaged?

Or maybe your feeling disconnected?

Let’s talk about how to shift from the experience of being burned out in relationships, at home, or at work. 

Today, I want to explore the component of disconnection/depersonalization and help you shift to the ENGAGED experience of being connected, involved, seen and heard with a sense of belonging. Burnout is characterized by exhaustion, depersonalization, cynicism and the feeling of not be accomplished.

Depersonalization happens when we protect ourselves from the painful things that we witness in our service(s), such as lack of outcomes, recurrent difficult situations, and conflict. This is common in public service professions where we exhibit a large amount of empathy and over time, find ways to disconnect so we don’t feel the pain of others. We also do this in order to not feel as deeply in order to cope and continue to do our work. 

Depersonalization begins as protection but over time we are unable to connect deeply or vulnerably, leaving us feeling lonely, cynical or critical and disconnected from our meaningful work. Disconnection also happens when we feel like we aren’t seen for the meaningful work we are doing. It happens when we don’t vibe with the people we are doing work with and when we are surrounded by negative energy, toxic environments, and fear-based leadership.

Connection happens when we feel like we are part of something meaningful. It occurs when we feel like we belong or are invited to contribute to the team. We feel connected when people we care about show us they value us. When there is joy and fun or playfulness in our work we feel more connected. 

Think about how much time you spend away from your family and friends. Do the relationships at work give you joy too?

What connects us is meaningful work?  Meaningful connections and meaningful challenges that are difficult yet accomplished together give us a sense of pride.  What connects us all is shared experiences.  

Here are some ways to consciously improve your relationships and connections, in order to feel fully engaged in your whole life.

1. Be completely present with others.  Be in the moment when others are speaking to you rather than multitasking. This ensures that meaningful discussions can evolve. 
2. Determine what you have in common with your colleagues.  There is less conflict when we understand each other. It is helpful to understand how we are alike, vs how we are different.
3. Increase your curiosity about situations and each other before you make judgments. Be curious about other peoples backstory, and how your own bias plays a part in judgment. Ask open-ended questions to gather more information to create greater understanding. 
4. Explore your shared purpose.  When we are working together on something find your shared purpose before tackling other topics. There is always something that we agree with. What is the “why” we are both in agreement about.  Once we find the "why"  we can focus on what is meaningful for both of us. 
5. Listen with the intent to understand a different perspective, rather than to fix the situation or to convince the other person of your own perspective.

I wish for you to have joy and play and Meaning in your work and for your connections to drive your energy and help you to feel more effective.  This is engagement!

Have fun exploring ways to improve your engagement and minimize burnout and disconnection. Thank you!

Cheers!

Kristen